30 Days of Me Photo Challenge - Day Eighteen

Day Eighteen: Post a photo of your biggest insecurity. Why are you insecure about this particular thing? What can you do to change it? Do you want to change it?

If you asked any of my family or friends for a quality of me, no one would say secure and confident.  If they did, they'd be lying, or don't know me at all.  That being said, this challenge was.... well... challenging.  I do have insecurities.  I don't want to broadcast them publicly, because then I'd feel as if they'd for sure stick out the next time I see someone.  Neon signs pointing to my imperfections.

I don't really have anything that feels like that, anymore, to me.  You know.. the pimple on your face in highschool that you swear has fireworks and neon signs pointing right at it, for all to see.  You feel as if everyone is staring at it all the time.  Like it's whispering "hey!  look at me!" all day long.  As if everyone in the world don't have better things to do then stare at a pimple.

I don't really care anymore, that much, about any imperfection that I have.  We all have them.  I mean, I could talk about my ginormous forehead.  The scar near my chin.  How my teeth don't line up perfect with my nose.  My fat toes.  But really, the neon signs are gone.  I'm not in high school anymore.  (shocking, I know).  Sure they bother me, sometimes, but they don't consume my every thought when I'm out in public.  It's more like.. seeing a picture of myself and thinking "hey, I should lose some of that baby fat"... as I shove another piece of chocolate in my mouth.

However.  There is one thing that consumes my every thought, when I'm doing it.  Public speaking.  Huge insecurity.  Huge.  It so frustrates me too!  There is no solid good reason to be so insecure about it.  And I just draw more attention to myself, rather than the words I'm speaking, by being so insecure!  So annoying!

My lips suddenly become odd feeling.  Like I haven't been talking for the past 30 years.  I start stumbling over words, talking really fast and I sound anything but smooth.  I end up sounding like a moron.  How do morons sound?  Like me, public speaking.

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1 comment:

  1. OMG, I just showed Ethan this Pringles trick!!! He'd never seen it before.

    I used to have a huge issue with public speaking....then I took a Composition Honors class...where we had to read an essay aloud once a month. A couple were debates. Then, NJROTC where I was thrust into a leadership position & ALWAYS in front of a crowd. Facing it head on, cured me. LOL!


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